Look at that tummy!
Ahhhhh what a weekend. Emma Kate, the dogs, and I made the long haul back to Indiana this weekend after waiting out their billionth snowstorm this winter. The roads were clear for our drive but fate would have it that we would get caught in standstill traffic in Dayton during our trip there. This set us back quite a bit on the clock and unfortunately also wore our threads a bit thin. Emma didn't handle the ride there very well this time and handled being at the funeral home even worse. My sweet, smiley happy girl was a bundle of sobs and snot. My poor, poor baby. I had hoped to spend the rest of the evening meeting with family and sharing my condolences for the loss of Pap, but my sweet girl did not want to be there so we had to dip out after only a few short minutes.
Friday was better and Saturday was an occasion! Emma woke Saturday morning saying, "Ma ma ma... mama mama..." and then when I picked her up she immediately changed to using different sounds. It was the cutest thing! Did she realize what she was doing? I'd like to think so. I am personally counting Emma's first word as "Mama"!
Sunday was back to being a little rougher. My confession to you all is this: my mom can bear witness to her own daughter being as much of a nasty as her daughter's daughter (if that makes sense). Emma decided to begin to really bite this weekend (HARD- blood drawing, ouchie-wow-wow hard!). That, paired with being a lot tired (I hadn't slept much the night before due to having to hold her all night) made ME not only whiney but short tempered and unsympathetic. Yes, Emma was back to being fussy on Sunday, yes she was biting, no she didn't want to nap. This was NOT her problem. I was. My poor attitude I am certain was the major problem of the day. My mom and Paula, bless their hearts, never mentioned my lack of savvy. I, however, felt the downward spiral of being a bad mama all day long. I am mediocre at many things. Being a mama is NOT one of them. I can honestly say that I mostly rock at being a mama. I am patient, I have a soft touch, I love with every iota of my being, I am slow to exasperate (even with bites, kicks, scratches- I take them in stride!), I am sympathetic to her needs, I put Emma (and Zack, for that matter!) first. Except for Sunday... Poor Emma. Bad, bad mama.
Yesterday and today I am back again. Emma is back again. She may be teething and having a hard time with it this time around, but I found myself back in Kentucky again. It feels GOOD to be my patient self again. I got knocked off my tracks in Dayton on Thursday only to find myself again on the road Monday.
It was wonderful seeing everyone this weekend but I wish many things: that traveling would have allowed more time together, that visiting was under happier circumstances, that I was a better mama, that Emma felt more rested and less pain from her teeth, and that Zack could have been there, too. I love each and every one of my family and I hope that even though I'm not around as much that you can feel it.
Side note: Emma's 8 month photos were a toughie today! She loved reaching for my camera at every chance. What a cutie...
No comments:
Post a Comment